Okay so all this talk about our children and learning has made me really think. I am very glad that this is a topic we have all talked about because it is an important one to discuss so we know exactly where we stand to make the proper decision for our children. There are a few things that surprised me as I read the comments from my post, Lura's post and her chat thing.
I was shocked to read over and over that we need to let our kids be kids. Well, of course we do. I do not get the link though between teaching them their letters , to read or anything else for that matter and NOT letting them be kids. While I tried once or twice to teach Sammy by a boring way of flashcards, it never worked so I haven't tried again. Sammy is energetic and pumped about learning. He loves it. He runs across the room and slams himself on the couch as he asks me how to spell daddy. He literally plays and jumps like a true boy 99 percent of his time. The kids is all boy and yet he learns A LOT. Please explain to me how anyone can say that a child shouldn't learn as he goes? Okay, maybe they didn't say that but they said that why should they know stuff before they go to school and we should just let them be kids. Most people who feel this way would be fine if I was sitting him down and drilling bible stories but not phonics?? We try and implement God into everything we say and do to our children. We never stop teaching them the ways in which God is good and how He can help them and guide them. Can't we do both?? For my son, he loves to learn and I love to teach him new things so that when his daddy gets home, he can run up to him and tell him how to say I love You in sign language or spell his daddy's name...So? Can you actually say that it would be better if Sammy was sitting in his room playing (which he does a lot of too) or being a kid and building a castle? If I was sitting him down and making him do everything, I may see that point. Why is the world would you not teach them what you can and still LET THEM BE A KID. Why would you not have puzzles, games, and toys that promote letters and reading over ones that promote characters or anything else? Maybe you wouldn't? Maybe you all have all those things too. I just think to say "they are only kids once" or let them be kids", you are implying that education is for later, education is for schools. I do not see it that way. I am in no hurry to ship my child off to school. In fact it kills me to think of doing it.
The second thing that I think i have different thinking on is the thing Lura said about her wanting her kids to be different. Okay, I am completely lost on this one. WHY would you want that? I get 100 percent that as a boy or man who loves the Lord he would be different. I also would be thrilled, elated if my boys loved the Lord. NOTHING is more important. Why must they be different in other ways? I am not suggesting that they try and be like others by imitation or being someone they are not but why can't they fit in? Why would you deliberately made them stand out? Kids hate that, I mean hate it. I have read that over and over. I have read that kids hate when their names are even odd because they are different. They want to fit in...why is that a problem? If it ever collided with our beliefs in God, it would be a no brainer not to do it but if it didn't why can't he fit in? The biggest point I wanted to make is that our ultimate job on this planet is to tell others about Jesus, to expand the kingdom of God right? I feel strongly that we can be much more effective if we are smart, courageous and yeah, even relate able. I was told by a Sunbeam leader that she thinks the girls want to be Christians partly because they see that I have fun as a Christian. why can't the same be true for brains or charisma? Don't we want to draw people to us? Can people relate and therefore being witnessed to by someone VERY different than them? I am not sure it is as effective. Again, I am not saying that we should perform sins or act ungodly to attract people. I am saying that if we isolate our children and teach them to be different at all costs than we may just add a lot of stress and pain to their lives. And then, who can they ever lead to Christ if they themselves are a mess. Pain from other children can make you a mess...I have seen it.
I want my kids to feel normal. I want them to feel like one of the other children. I want them to also know that God is number one. I know I can have all of those things. I have 3 grown cousins who grew up that way and still LOVE the Lord! They were always pretty popular (not particularly a goal for my kids just a fact in this case) and they have stayed firm in their beliefs. One of them is this crazy character who is nuts and fun and very relate able and he leads teens to Christ as his job. Would teens swarm to him if he were way different for the sake of being different? I am not sure they would.
Lastly, I was not saying that I HAVE to force feed my child reading by kindergarten. As I said yesterday, Sammy's teacher said he is almost there. She predicted just a few hours with him and he'd be a reader. I want to do it for many reasons one of which is that Sammy loves to read. We have read 10 or more books (on average) a day since he was born. He prefers books over any toy any time (except for playing outside). That is what makes him happiest...reading. Why am I taking away his childhood ( "they are only young once", "let then be kids") by pointing out words and having him read them back to me as we read books? I would LOVE any responses because I am an ever changing parent. I am in NO WAY set on most things that come to raising my kids. I love debate and I change my positions quite often when I wake up to things. So, Please give it me!!
Our Boys:Our Blessings
19 comments:
Ok, This is what I said in my first comment "Let kids be kids! Let kids grow and learn at their own pace. Kids will be adults all too soon, so hang on to them as long as you can. Why even start kids in pre-school at 4 when you don't have to? The best thing for little kids is play. Learn thru playing. Structured learning will happen soon enough."
Let me explain that in no way was I saying to not teach your child while playing. For example, from a very young age, I would teach my kids their colors. "Yes, you have a green shirt on." Or "Yep, that stop sign is an octagon". Or "That word is EXIT". Kids have varying interests and I feel that one should teach them when they are little by using those interests. Jacob used to point to letters at 18 months and want to know what they were. Did we take it away from him because he was only 18 months and he shouldn't learn his letters yet?? NO! We let him learn them because that is what he wanted to do. His will to learn "educational" things was very strong and still is. Travis loves to play and he might not be able to read, but he can tell you how to work a tractor, or what car is the fastest. Plus he loves to draw. So both of my boys were "learning thru playing". Play for one kid is different than play for another. Just like when you said that Sammy will ask how to spell Daddy while playing.... it's not like you are going to NOT tell him. Follow their lead in learning and playing and just add in other things. I don't think there is anything at all wrong with teaching Sammy to read if he is ready. You should know if he's ready. I mean if he's asking how to spell things or recognizing words and such, then he's ready. I say go for it. I've said it before that Jacob was reading by 2. And I did not push him to read. He read because that's where and what his interests were. I am certainly not saying that you are pushing Sammy to read, I just mean that if he is ready and willing, then go for it! I'm sure people think I pushed Jacob when he was little, but I did not. I feel if you give children that openness to play with and do what they want, they'll learn. It's a natural drive to most kids.
And the comment about preschool - I simply meant that for me personally, I don't want the government having my child any sooner than they have to. I think preschool can be great for some kids. In fact, I think Travis would have loved it. He loves other kids and loves to play kids games and such. He would have probably loved the environment. He would probably love brick and mortar school to.
All kids are different and learn differently and at different paces. "Let kids be kids" - let them play and learn the way they want to and do best. They are told how and what to learn by the time they are in school. Teach them now what you feel is important, like loving God, and what they want to learn, like how to spell Daddy!
Enjoy your children while they are this little, that's all I'm saying!
Whether it's teaching him to spell or playing tag. :)
I agree completely about the being different issue.
As far as let them be kids, I didn't make that comment but what I got from the person who said that was let them learn at their own pace for as long as possible because once they start school they are forced to keep up with everyone else and forced to learn certain things at certain times and thru particular methods. At home, parents can teach their kids how ever they want and at whatever pace they want and they know their child better than anyone else so they can teach in a way that they know their child will learn the most and get the most from. I think teaching your child at home as much as possible is best because they get one on one teaching instead of having to learn with 25 other kids who are all at different levels. My whole point is to prepare your child as much as possible at home so they have a head start when they do start school and have to keep up with the whole class as opposed to learning at their own pace.
I would suggest that you get a list of the Dolch sight words and practice them with Sammy....they have to learn alot of sight words in kindergarten and if you start now, he will be ahead. You may already be doing this though.
Whoa, I must have been typing my comment at the same time Charity was typing hers! ha ha
Oh gosh Charity, I wasn't talking at all about your comments. i hadn't even noticed that you had said it too. I was referring to Lura and her friend who said that her kids aren't reading because "they are only kids once". I actually thought you and I WERE on the same page because I knew that your oldest was reading very early. I wasn't commenting on your comments at all. i got everything you said. i was shocked to see that you had said it at all. i hadn't remembered. i have no problem with saying to let them be kids. I have a problem with the link between that and teaching them. it just makes no sense to me.
K! :)
it sounds like for THE FIRST TIME EVER, Crys and I are exactly in sync on this one....whoa
teach them if they respond to it...help them know enough so they don't get behind in school....let them play play play and don't try to make them different for the sake of doing it. Sound right crys??
This is a neat website for sight words. http://www.fcboe.org/schoolhp/shes/sight_words.htm
There are a few others you can try. Here's a really neat interactive sight for learning to read - http://www.starfall.com/ I like it a lot! You can start at the basics and move to harder words and things. Plus it's fun!
That sounds about right to me, even though I'm not Crystal. haha! I should have just said it that way the first time! haha! :)
thanks for the site words. i am going there now
I always had the sight words hung on the wall and Daws would go over to them on his own and practice them....it really helped him alot. another thing I did to encourage his reading was I labeled alot of things in the house....I would tape the word door on his bedroom door, the word bed on his bed, the word chair on the chairs etc.... and I did this throughout the house.......he loved it!
You know, Lura's house has a ton of stuff on the walls to teach her boys thing. She has colors and the alphabet and stuff like that for the boys to learn. So I know that she is not against teaching kids that stuff early. I don't think that is what she meant either. I'll let her comment though! :)
i do not doubt at all that lura wants her kids to be smart...i am just confused when she said that if we teach them before school, what are the schools doing.. or something like that
Oh ok! :)
Lura really needs to quit work so that she can blog all day with us! LOL
I don't let my measlely little job get in the way of my important blogging!!! I am at work now! ha ha
I need to comment before reading all the other comments so I don't lose my train of thought. So if I repeart anyone else's sorry. They only thing I have a real comment on is the being different, yes you want your child to make different decisions than other kids, most decide to drink and have sex very young. But do you want them to stand out as different? Yeah I want people to know my kid is a good kid but I don't want him thought of as weird. The plan and simple truth is too many Christians are thought of as weird and it makes so many people NOT want to know God because they don't want to be weird. Sonya is right, yeah I said it, it is a good thing to show poeple you are just like them and have fun and act crazy and do silly things and are still a Christian. Our cousin Ryan touches hundreds of children's life because he plays the guitar, has tattoos and is a complete nut ball AND he's a Christian. You can have it all and he does. We all can if we find the balance.
OKay finally read it all. Yep sight words is the way to go. the first half of the year Ryan learned sight words, one new each week, then they sent little books home and he was shocked and very proud that he could read them. It was amazing and he loves to read us books.
Yeah, my oldest son, Cam is a Christian, he loves the Lord so much but he's also got long hair and has fun....he has also lead a few of his friends to Christ and that makes me very proud! It's not everyday that you see a teenager showing love for God and being so involved in Church.....It warms my heart that my son is different in that way but he can also relate to other teens as well!
I'm not sure if you were referring to my comments or not, but what I meant by "let them be kids" was certainly not to imply that they shouldn't be learning or that learning cannot take place in the home. I absolutely believe that learning begins at birth and parents should be the most important teachers in their children's lives.
What I meant was that it is a whole lot easier to enjoy childhood when you are in a nonstructured environment. School is structured, because it has to be. This isn't necessarily bad or good, it just is. If you can wait a year before sending your child, I think it's a good idea because it allows them to just enjoy playing at their own pace. I personally am glad my son's birthday falls in November, as it means he gets a whole extra year before starting kindergarten. I know that he would be ready earlier, but I want him to just enjoy the quiet simplicities of life.
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